Ouch! It hurts...

Pruning: according to my humongous Encarta is to cut branches away from a plant to encourage fuller growth; to reduce something by removing whatever is unecessary or unwanted. In the life of a believer God shows us the different dead parts inside of us that are displeasing to God and which need cutting out. Now, who in their right mind likes pruning? I don't. Oh it hurts so bad I bleed! And oh the shame that comes along with it when you're heart is exposed out in the open, vulnerable and ready to be executed.

Pruning is a defining moment in a believers life. How you respond to it defines where your roots are planted. I speak like someone in authority over this pruning thing but really the truth is I am in the middle of it. And I'm here because writing helps me organize my thoughts. So how did I respond, you ask? Let me tell you how I felt so you would know that I did not act on impulse.

I felt like cold water was being poured on top my head. Like somebody slapped me in the face with the truth. And like adding insult to injury, I surely did not want the rebuke to come from this person. I could have died in shame at that moment. I lost my peace which I valued the most in my Christian walk for it was bequeath to me by the One who knows and loves me most, my first love and my King Jesus. Chaos was lurking in the shadows of my heart opening the entrance to bitterness. Emotions running wild. In case you forgot I am a woman.

In silence, I came running to God on my knees and with tears in my eyes. I have no excuses for I was wrong. I read Psalms 51 intimately like a letter of apology to One I have grieved the most and the pages in my bible held droplets of tears, tears of repentance. I stated my case yet I did not retaliate. The motive of my heart was revealed to me and it was downright ugly. I wish I could say I wasn't aware but I was fully sober. I could laserbeam what the person might have thought about me and act by instinct to redeem myself out of my own effort. But I choose to magnify God over this situation and no matter how shameful it was for me, I listened to what God has to say about me. After all he knows me more than anyone else.

What My Daddy Said:

You are my child. Hide in me and rest in my love. I love you more than you could ever grasp the true meaning of love. Nothing you would do will ever turn me off. My love for you is complete and secure. Stay in my perfect peace. There will be a lot of pruning in the future but rest assured that it is for your own good. Remember, how you ask me to bear the fruit of the spirit? Yes, remain in Me and I will remain in you but pruning is very much part of the process. I shall call what is dead as dead because everything in Me is Life in Abundance. It is vitamins for your soul to come crying to me once in a while. I am always with you and you will always feel my embrace and experience the expression of my love for you in different ways.

Rejoice, my child for I am bringing you to another level of faith. Learn the lesson of humility, meekness and submission. Do not take your eyes off me, not even for a single moment because the evil one watches closely and uses the desire of your soul, perverting it to work against you and hurt you. But even so I will use it for the purpose in which I have created you. You are my original. I have seen all your days before I even formed you. There is no question about your future in Me for I have seen it all. Trust me, you will overcome because your Daddy is in control.

I choose to respond in love, no fanfare, no metaphor just LOVE for my King.

Special thanks to my brother in Christ who showed me and read to me Psalms 51 at the time when I needed it most. I reread it home because I cannot cry in front of you. Your wisdom is highly appreciated.

And the awesome woman who is called by God as a tent maker for countless hours over the phone. Listening to me, praying for me, speaking peace in my heart.

Names are withheld for protection purposes but you guys know who you are.

Copyright @sheenarobins 2011